to be used isn't always a bad thing.a little sister in Christ came to me today. she is heartbroken. tears filled the eyes of this beautiful, fun-loving, girl. i loved every minute of it. not that she was in misery, but because her coming to me for advice and encouragement was exactly what i long for. we'll get to more of that later...
there are certain times in my life where i know that i know that i know that God is using me in a situation. today was one of those times. she came. she teared up. i felt her pain. she was broken, humbled, lonely, depressed, deceived, and all the other feelings girls have after a long relationship breaks apart. she was hopeless. she felt worthless. she felt deceived. she felt used, in the negative sense of the word. i have been there.
i was used today, though, gladly, and positively, by God. my life was used today, my hurt, shame, downfalls, uprisings, experiences, coping strategies, all were used today. i was content in that conversation with her at that moment to say "i know exactly how you feel. you'll feel better down the road, but right now, you're going to hurt. bad. nights are the worst. lonely, emotional, and hurtful. but you are worth a man who is sure. you will come out better."
today, i can honestly say that i am thankful for the mistakes i have made and how i have been hurt in past relationships. (wow. God did that.) i would be hurt again if it meant that i could have more conversations with young women, encourage them in the Lord, and use all my hurt as a testimony of the acceptance and loving-kindness of God. i long to be used by God in those situations.
one of my dreams is to be able to have my future spouse and i completely transparent with the students of our church or community. i dream of an open door policy in a small colonial house where these hurting girls and guys can come and listen to the wisdom that God has for them in His word. they could feel safe and secure. they could cry, laugh, we could cook, (or do manly things), and just relax. they could play cards, just sit and talk, sip lemonade and sweet tea, and find hope by being in a home submitted and dedicated to God. to listen to our past experiences and failures, on the couch, playing ball, baking muffins. we would encourage them and be able to say, "i 100 percent have been there. it sucks right now. a lot. but there is hope."
this is a dream of mine, i don't think i have told many people. but every time i am used, by God, this dream comes back up into my mind, like the little pumpkin seed in my garden that just won't die in spite of every other thing getting froze to death this year...
who knows what God has in store for me. i ask Him and am wholeheartedly expecting Him to absolutely blow my mind with what He has prepared for me.
Habakkuk 1:5 - "Look among the nations! Observe! Be astonished! Wonder! Because I am doing something in your days-- You would not believe if you were told."