so monday was a really bad day for me. it just was from start to finish, i wasn't feeling it.
it began on sunday, when i woke up from a nap. weird, i know, usually you're supposed to feel better after a nap. my brain said, "not this time, suckaaa."
anyways sunday night my little bible study i help lead threw a party for one of the youth leaders. i was having a hard time being "all there" but two noticeable things happened that night, which i held on to throughout the depressing monday that would ensue.
First thing: i spend a good thirty minutes with one of the girls in my group. a sixth grader. one of my favorites, though i love all of them dearly.
her name will go unmentioned, but this girl blessed me beyond what she will know.
she's one of those girls who you never really know if she's listening all the time, always distracted, a talker, in love with the boys, a spunky little sass-a-frass, you know them. you may have been one of them.
she's a lover at the heart though, and she does love Jesus. she does understand more than you or i could know.
by the divine plan of God he put us in that room together alone. there were over twenty girls there, five leaders.i should have gotten at least three more girls. but God just placed her right in there. across the table, looking at her leader, me a little intimidated, but prepared to just let God take us where He wants to. i looked at her while she found the bible-app in her ipod. i thought as i saw through her sixth grader facade. there's a reason i'm in this room with just you. lets make this one count.
"open your bible, and lets read this together."
we read the second chapter of James, a little tough to explain the first 14 verses when talking about partiality and the law of liberty to a sixth grader whose boy crazy. but it went well.
we were supposed to go back to the group after ten minutes but ended up staying in that room alone together the whole time. i couldn't say no to a girl who wanted discipleship time.
and we never got off topic. not once. she was into the Word of God. i was eating up every part of it.
for real, i live for moments like that.
the ones that you know that God is using you, even when you don't deserve it.
but do we ever deserve it?
when i'm having a pity party and i know it i try to look for those "wonders" among me. that meeting was the first one.
the second thing: --this song-- came on.
you may say, its a coincidence, but its exactly what i wanted to hear at that moment. that i was in my God's hands. that He was keeping me safe and secure. that He would deliver me from myself. that He was truly my protector.
this song came back to me, and now every time i hear it i think of a little lego-man sized natalie just chillin in the palm of God. eating some cheetos and just resting and safe. and home.
when i needed it most, God reminded me i was just in His huge God-sized hands. (ok minus the cheetos.)
"i'm here little lego-man sized natalie. i'm here and i'm not letting go. in this world you may have troubles, but look! i have overcome the world. for you."